As a little girl, I always had a vivid imagination…..fairies really did live in my back yard, if I channeled my thoughts hard enough while rubbing my temples, my wishes really would come true and nobody could tell me that there was anything I was not capable of doing.
When did all that change?
Why can’t we still believe in elves and fairies and gnomes and goblins and all things magical, glittery and exciting??? Who are we to say that such things do not exist?
Okay, so in reality, I know that perhaps the thought of such mystical creatures makes me sound insane (more so than people already believe :p ) but do we look at Christians or Muslims and think they are insane because they believe in things that cannot be seen or felt?
Faith, is a funny thing….if you have enough belief in something, you will always find strength to get through things you never thought you could.
I’m currently on a quest to find faith and belief in something….I’m not sure what and I may never be able to pinpoint what that elusive thing is, however I DO believe that there is something bigger than us….something that holds the power to create the situations that appear in our lives that bring happiness or sadness. And I also believe in the power of our own thoughts and ability to deal with these situations.
My grandparents who mean the world to me (my grandpa died of cancer thirteen years ago) were extremely spiritual people. They believed in the power of the Universe, positive affirmations, ensuring you had healthy chakras, tarot card readings, psychic abilities and the use of crystals, incense and oils to promote a sense of calm, well-being and balance.
I guess that is where I get it from and to this day, I still have very strong beliefs in spirituality in that sense.
For a long time, I suppressed that side of me, due to a heavy cocktail of sedation medications that numbed me to everything and anything. I lost all sense of myself and learned to just “exist” and get through each day to the best of my ability and if I one up the following day, that would be a bonus and I would go through the motions once again.
About six months ago, I woke up one morning and realized that if I kept going the way I was going, I was never going to experience happiness again. I was never going to “feel” anything the way I once did and I would only ever continue to “exist”. I wanted more than that.
So, I booked myself in to Mental Health and demanded a medication review. So, now they have taken me off my anti-psychotic medication and I am FEELING again….granted, with feeling happiness, joy and excitement, I also feel sadness, pain and fear but the trade off for feeling absolutely nothing is wonderful and well worth it….
And do you know what? So what if I believe in fairies? 🙂 I’ve finally found my own set of wings and I’m learning once again how to fly! 🙂
Drama Queen Productions 