On the 27th of February, 2013, my life began to change. It was almost like the dominos had stopped falling and I knew there was nobody to pick up the dominos and straighten them up again.
It was fight or flight and I decided to draw upon my nasty streak and my seemingly inability to keep my personal life off Facebook so I typed up a long spiel and threw it on Facebook for the world to read. Needless to say, I lost a few “friends” but I gained more to replace them, and even though it was not that long ago, I look upon that time as the beginning of my “journey” and so I am going to, once again, bare my soul for the world to read and repost my spiel that started my journey to remember who I was, what made me happy and how I was going to achieve that…what I had to do and what goals I had to set myself.
It’s been a long and often bumpy road but every time something magical happens or I find that I deal with a situation with peace and love as opposed to anger, spite and revenge, I realize that something is going right and that, for every down, there is an up…..
So, based on the fact that I had heard some despicable rumors about myself, I decided to set the record straight…..
I cannot believe the inboxes people are being sent about me so you know what, let me clear up some of these fucked up rumors that are being spread around about me….
1. I went to jail for murder….no, I did not! I started seeing someone when I was SIXTEEN years old who was sent to jail for attempted murder and armed robbery. Yes, I was in the car when he did it. No, I didn’t get out and stop him because I was PREGNANT with my first baby and this man had taken me to the exact same place on the exact same track in the forestry that he was beating this man with an iron bar, and had raped and tried to kill me only a few weeks beforehand. Yes, I was charged with grievous bodily harm with intent and armed robbery as I was in the car BUT it was never a criminal conviction because the judge read the domestic violence order that I had taken out against him, he had read the police reports of every time this man had beaten me and he knew I was in fear of mine and my baby’s safety which is why I never got out of the car. Would you? Honestly? Can you really sit there and say that if you were in my shoes you would have gotten out of that car? However, this man was sentenced to ten years jail for what he did, served seven, then hunted me down again and then went back to jail. He is now out again. Much more to that story but really it is nobody else’s business but no, I did not go to jail for murder!
2. I have three kids to three different fathers. Not true. I have had four pregnancies….three children. Two fathers. The first father I left after the above incident and took out a restraining order against, then moved approximately twenty times in the first couple of years of my daughters life because the domestic violence order meant nothing to him.
The second father turned out to be a needle user and I found myself in another domestic violent relationship so after I lost my fourth child, I finally found the courage to leave and the police filed a domestic violence order against him. He saw his children twice and then nothing until he got sick of being harassed by Child Support so he pretended he wanted to get to know them, said he would have them for a weekend, then took swabs to get DNA testing done to try and prove they were not his children. They were. We never saw him again.
3. I was a stripper. Yes, I was. Am I proud of it? No. Was I young and looking for a way to support my three children as a single mother? Yes. I earned fantastic money and I worked my ass off but it is not an industry for someone to work in that has very low self confidence and self worth issues. Which brings me to….
4. I was nothing but a drug fucked prostitute. No, I wasn’t. I was a stripper not a prostitute. I danced on and off for three years and at the end, I was heavily involved in drugs. Again, something I am not proud of at all but I did it. They made me feel good, they made me feel beautiful and they gave me the confidence I needed to take my clothes off in front of a club full of strangers or a bucks party or doing topless raffles or bar work. I NEVER once use a needle and I never took heroin. My children were ALWAYS looked after, they never went without anything, they still went to preschool and daycare and ate three meals a day. I led a complete double life… “Sonya” by day and “Samantha” by night. The drug that I got hooked on was ecstasy but I got myself off it and went cold turkey when I realised the trouble I was getting caught up in. Brings me to….
5. I was wanted by the CJC. Yes, this is true. When I got involved in the drugs, I became mixed up with some extremely dangerous people. I witnessed two murders and a lot of money changing hands between people you should have been able to trust. I had also formed a relationship with one of the biggest drug dealers and criminal families that existed within the Valley at the time. The CJC knew that I knew stuff as the police had attempted to file a restraining order against this man, so it was on record but i was forced at gunpoint to refuse to attend the court hearing. My life was spiraling out of control and I was terrified for myself but mainly my children so I rang my mother and asked her to look after my children, who were and still are my whole world, until I could find a safe way out of the mess I had gotten myself into. And now onto….
6. I dumped my kids on my parents doorstep and ran away for a year and nobody knew where I was. What a load of rubbish! I had gotten myself involved in a very dangerous situation and I thought I would end up being killed trying to leave these people so I ASKED my mother to take care of my children while I figured out how to leave, so they would be protected. If anything happened to me, I knew they would be safe. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was kiss my three babies goodbye when my mum came and picked them up because I truly didnt know if I would ever see them again.
Leaving this man would prove to be one of the scariest experiences of my life. My mother and father had told me they would take my children but not me. This man had alienated me from everyone I knew. I had no friends and the one friend I did have, that tried to help me escape ended up brutally beaten and her house destroyed. I never saw her again.
I was still seeing my children on weekends and to his credit, this man never hurt my children or hurt me in front of them until one weekend when he bashed me terribly in front of them. When my mum came to pick up the kids, I had two black eyes, a split lip, a cut on my forehead, bruises all over my arms and a bruise around my neck. I stood at the door in tears and begged her to please take me with her. She said yes! I thought I was finally getting away. I left all my belongings in his house and got in the car with my mum and my babies and actually felt like I was finally getting away. I had not touched drugs for two months at this stage. Once we were in the car, my mum said to me, “I am sorry. I cannot take you home.” She dropped me off at a service station in Kedron and drove away. This man had followed the car and chased me with a gun for hours until I was so scared and so exhausted that I got in his car and went back. A month later, one of his suppliers came to the door and I decided it was now or never so I bolted. I have never run so fast in my whole life. I came back to Caboolture, moved into a duplex and fought my ass off to get my babies back and won. This all took place over THREE MONTHS not TWELVE!! This man did find me again and there were more incidents that involved guns being held to my head because the CJC had also found me at this stage but eventually it all finished. I never spoke a word to the CJC and one day this man just “disappeared”…..I don’t know why or how but he did and I was glad.
7. There have been plenty of other things said about me over the last few days and I know damn well that none of what I have just told you is anybody else’s business but my own but I know some of you have been sent horrible inboxes with some incredible stories about who I am and I needed to set the record straight. As for the other rumors, I will address them at a later stage but for now, these were the most hurtful….
On that note, please let it be known that I was only TWENTY TWO when all this finished and I have never touched drugs since, I live a very decent and respectable life, despite my physical and mental health issues and I try every day to not let the mistakes of my past define who I am today but when it gets thrown in my face like this, it does destroy me and I have about taken all I can take. If you now think any less of me, feel free to delete yourselves because I cannot change my past….all I could do was change my future and I did. If you want to condemn or judge me for that you can fuck off because until you have walked a mile in my shoes, you will NEVER know how hard some parts of my life have been,…,,you have read a snippet of my 37 years….this is only part of it, so judge me if you like, hate me, put me down, have a big gossip, do whatever you like but I defy any of you to sit there and honestly say that you never made a single mistake in your goddamn lives!
Drama Queen Productions 