My Weekend

So, let me catch you all up a little….

First up, I have absolutely nothing wrong with my colon, however have been extremely unwell since the procedure….increased pain in my left side, dizziness, hot and cold sweats, fever, excessive swelling in my face, hands and feet and just generally feeling like crap.

When the hospital called, they told me to come back in straight away but I had way too much planned for the weekend and too many people to potentially let down, so me being me just ignored it. Yes, at some point, I will go back to the hospital but for now, there are still things that need to be done. 

Saturday was hugely stressful for me and I didn’t cope well at all. I was so nervous about Fred’s family function and I had nothing semi-formal that fit me anymore so it was a mad dash to find an outfit, buy last minute presents, pick Fred up from work and then worry about the fact that Nick had supposedly organized a party to be held while we were out. (Turns out his mate, who told me, was just riling me up….it worked!) 

At one point, I was ready to just pack it all in and not go. 

However, we locked the house up tight, I put on my new clothes and the highest heels I’ve worn since before I turned into ten tonne tessie, put on some make up, straightened my newly cut and colored hair and decided to throw caution to the wind and let my hair down.

Turned out to be a great night….maybe the 6 glasses of rum and coke helped….but nonetheless, I am so glad I went because it was a great night and I really, truly enjoyed myself. It was beautiful being part of such a huge family event where there was no judgement amongst people, no bitterness or anger….just love and a sense of belonging and pure desire to celebrate a milestone in a much loved family members life. 

Being in heels all night did me no favors however and when I got home, I was in agony. Fred rubbed my Balinese oil all over my back and lower stomach and behind my knees but sadly, not much relief was to be found. 

I had a night plagued with bad dreams yet again but woke up in the morning feeling strangely different.

It was as if the last couple of weeks of absolutely shitty feelings, bad moods and lots of tears had suddenly evaporated into thin air. 

Fred helped me clean the house and I was so excited to see Taylah and wish her Happy Birthday and give her her presents. As with, every birthday, I was filled with a sense of nostalgia and was again reminded that I really was a good mum and under the circumstances, I raised three amazing children all on my own. 

Taylah is now officially an adult and I am so proud of her and I feel so confident that she will be able to rise to the challenge as she starts her life as a woman now and not just a teenage girl but I’m also proud of myself for playing a part in that. 

I was so incredibly overwhelmed with a feeling of dread knowing that I would be seeing my family tonight but I would never have let Taylah down, so once again I put on some make up and did my hair, got dressed and tried my best to prepare myself for the emotional rollercoaster, I knew I was about to embark upon. 

It was extremely awkward at first…nobody was speaking to each other and I could see it was hurting Taylah. It was hurting me too. A lot. And, at one point I had to run to the bathroom and compose myself as the tears started to flow and I knew I was unable to stop them, had I stayed in my seat. 

I came back out and decided that like always, this was up to me to fix so I started talking to them all and forcing conversation that became somewhat easier as time went on. 

Taylah seemed more at ease and what started out as a pretty uncomfortable evening turned into a great night. 

My mum was still very sour and cranky but I tried. There was nothing more I could have done.

But I spoke with my sisters and I tried to talk to Madison (it didn’t go so well but it was a start) so all in all, it ended up being better than I thought.

I ate very little and hoped nobody would notice as the pain was excruciating and as I type, it seems to be getting worse, even though I’ve actually taken some Endone so I’m not sure what’s going on down there but quite frankly, I’m a little over it. 

I think Taylah enjoyed her day and I hope she felt special and loved and spoiled on her big day, but next weekend is her big night out so we are all looking forward to that!